Kool Time with Kelly: New Program Replaces 12 Steps

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

New Program Replaces 12 Steps

Have you tried the classic 12 step program for your problem. Followed the guidelines, done the work necessary to recover from your ailment?

If you answered no, then this is the program for you. Are you lazy, discontent, and unable to follow through with the easiest of tasks? Do you like others doing the work for you? Have you been searching for the EASY way out?

Well I have found it, and I am here to offer it to you, for a small price. What would you pay to find an easy, one step solution to your problem? ....$10.00...maybe $11.00 (if you even have a job)

Good News..the next time you are able to get off the couch to grab that beer just write a check for $0.50 and mail it to:

                                     Egotistically Incapable of Committing Program
                                     c/o my parents
                                     1313 Mockingbird lane suite# couch
                                     Lazington, MI 25253

In 12 to 15 months, or when I get around to it, you will recieve your full one step STOP program. Included you will find the secret motto:

                                                                STOP

Good Luck and grab me a cool one while your up!

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Rise in Munchausen Syndrome :: Headlines Swarming with Victims of Self-inflicted Injuries

A young woman, Bethany Storro, is reported to have been attacked outside a coffee shop in Vancouver this week. She claimed a "black woman" with a ponytail threw a cup of acid on her face producing chemical burns. She is transported to the hospital and the story makes headlines. Interviews show a nice, gentle woman explaining how the lord would care for her and she would be alright. Support for her rallies in the community and across the country. Then later in the week news articles report it is a suspected hoax. Apparently it was true. Bethany purchased sunglasses to protect her eyes before throwing the acid on her own face, a sign of premeditation for the act itself. Now the woman faces police charges of false reporting and larseny for taking donations from the public. How could someone injure themselves to this extent for attention?

Munchausen Syndrome is the answer. Munchausen is a syndrome that causes a person to fake or intentionally injure themselves for the main purpose of being treated like a medical patient and gaining outside attention. People with this disorder are known to cause or self-inflict enough injury to themselves that they require medical attention and/or surgical procedures. The goal is seemingly to receive much needed attention that they are not getting in their daily lives. Many doctors and psychiatrists believe this disorder is not related to lack of attention as a child but more so to possible sexual abuse or inherent agression. There is no known cure for Munchausen at this time, but there seems to be some improvement when patients are placed on SSRI's (seratonin reuptake inhibitors) such as Paxil, Prozac, and Zoloft.

The main problem with diagnosing Munchausen is that the patient must actually be "caught" faking symptoms or self-inflicting injury. There are ways to do this, and doctors usually rule out Munchausen when a patient complains of symptoms that aren't supported by diagnostic test results. A real red flag for doctors is a patient that seems eager to undergo surgical procedures or never seems to have resolved symptoms following medical treatment. The fact that no person who suffers from Munchausen is willing to admit or accept this diagnosis prevents most people from actually being treated, and therefore no advance in the treatment of this disorder has taken place place in decades.

As far as Bethany Storro's future goes, it is unsure whether she will recover. We still have yet to learn how the details unfold. But for positive or negative results she still received the attention she was craving, and the public paid the price. This morning I wake up to read a headline like this, "Nurse Fakes Injury to Self", and I wonder "Is Munchausen the Fad?".

Zesty Italian Chicken Cutlets

Have you ever bitten into that chicken cutlet and said to yourself, "it's good, but there's something missing?'. Well that something is flavor. Most chicken cutlets end up tasting bland, especially traditional recipes that require only milk and egg batter with bread crumbs. The following recipe should wake up those taste buds, so get ready for an Italian delight.

To complete this recipe you will need a package of uncut, boneless chicken breast, a bottle of your favorite Italian salad dressing, olive oil, freshly grated pecorino romano cheese, and Italian style bread crumbs. First, wash your chicken in hot water for a minute or two. Then take your best filleting knife and cut the breast into several thin fillets. Fill a mixing bowl with the entire contents of the salad dressing bottle and place your fillets in it. Mix the fillets in the salad dressing for about 1 minute to ensure saturation. Then let the bowl sit for about 20 minutes in the fridge.

While the chicken is marinading in the dressing you can set up your bread crumbs. Simply add 1/3 cup pecorino romano cheese to one cup Italian bread crumbs and mix them together with your clean fingers. Then remove your chicken from the fridge and begin to lightly bread each side. Then repeat and double-bread the cutlets.

Pour enough olive oil into your frying pan to simply cover the bottom of the pan and set your burner on medium heat. Wait 5 minutes for the oil to heat up. Preheat your oven to 375 degrees. Then place your cutlets in the frying pan and fry until browned on each side. When this is complete remove them from the pan and place on a paper towel to absorb the extra oil. When all cutlets are browned put them on a baking sheet and place them in the oven and bake for 20 minutes.

Then remove and serve.

Kool Time with Kelly

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Tuesday, September 7, 2010

New Program Replaces 12 Steps

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